There’s nothing cuter than seeing two people in love. For instance, it’s adorable when a couple is caught on Kiss Cam. But sometimes, said couple can take it too far. Sometimes said couple engages in a PDA so gross it looks like they’re trying to eat each other’s faces off. Before you rush to the defense of PDA, here are all the reasons it’s nasty.
Everyone is forced to watch
There’s no way to not be uncomfortable around two people engaged in PDA. Even if you look away, you’re somehow still made to watch it. It’s almost like the Earth curves in a special direction just to make sure it’s always in your face, no matter where you angle your head. Ugh. Physics.
You’re breaking hearts
What if someone watching your PDA is secretly in love with you? You’re breaking their poor little heart with your over-the-top display of affection for your current bae. Have some respect for that person’s broken heart! Don’t rub it in their face that you’re madly in love with someone who is definitely not them.
It’s not a great way to say “I love you”
You’re supposed to say “I love you”, not spray “I love you”. The more public a declaration of love is, the less sincere it feels. So if you think being all over your bae in public will let them know how much you care, think again. It’s about as healthy as saying “I’d let myself get hit by a train for you.”
It’s hard to hold a conversation
How are you supposed to talk to your friends when your lips are practically glued to your bae? Also how are you supposed to breathe? And how are you supposed to let another person know you’re suffocating? And how are you going to inform the person you’re kissing that you’ve just passed out from lack of oxygen?
Your body might fuse into the other person’s body
If you press your body so closely to another person’s body for such a long period of time, eventually the two bodies will melt together. One body will get sucked into the other body, much like someone sinking into a comfy couch. You two will become one entity and end up looking like Quato in Total Recall. So unless you want your bae to absorb you, keep it together in public.
Someone is getting pregnant
Even if you keep your clothes on; even if you only kiss; even if you don’t even kiss but just hug and climb all over each other, someone somehow is getting pregnant. Your dad isn’t making a lame and inappropriate joke when he says, “Whoa! Looks like someone’s going to get pregnant!” He’s being accurate on top of being lame and inappropriate.